Without the rose-colored glasses
I don't know exactly what to say today, but I am going to try.
Every month, I send out an email newsletter. Not everyone is able to receive them, but I am deeply grateful that those who do manage to get a little bit of something out of my words. I am continually honored that I get to share the lessons I learn from life.
It seems the lessons are never-ending. Sometimes, it honestly feels like we are never learning. But we are. We do.
Still, the frustration you might be feeling with your own healing journey? It is real. I am here to tell you that you are not the only one feeling it. When I try to comfort myself by looking at how far I’ve come—even when there is still so much ahead—sometimes I find comfort. But sometimes I don’t. Sometimes those reminders feel completely irrelevant.
And if I'm being entirely honest, that is exactly what I am feeling right now.
What if we move beyond the inspirational stuff?
I suppose I am "expected" to share only the good stuff with you—the highly curated, motivational, inspirational stuff. But that is not reality.
Life is raw, complex, and often unpredictable. Or, conversely, it can feel far too predictable: the way humans manage to hurt each other, and the sheer amount of greed that exists in the world. It is overwhelming.
My naivety still deeply hopes that we can all just get along. If you look at nature, there are millions of different species, yet there is a beautiful, invisible order to things. They evolve. They survive. It works. They instinctively appreciate the cycle of life—when it is time to perish, they perish, and life grows again. If humans didn't interfere with the natural order of things, nature would effortlessly flourish.
But here we are.
I’m supposed to tell you that there is always hope. Believe me, 90% of the time, I truly believe there is. But as I write this specific post, I am sitting squarely in the 10% of hopelessness.
Let me just say it: I feel it, too. I want to be completely real with you.
Is there a good middle?
We cannot go through life just seeking happiness and good feelings; if we do, we are missing the entire point of living. On the flip side, we can't spend our days looking at life as half-empty, never content and never satisfied.
Is there a good middle? I want to believe there is. To embrace life in its entirety—both the good and the bad.
My intention for you right now is not to inspire you. It is to provoke you.
I want us to start asking questions. Questions we don't have the answers to. Questions we are uncomfortable even asking.
Making the most of this short life we have been given is not just about chasing grand adventures. Waking up and asking the trees, "What is it like being you?" or quietly sipping your coffee while watching the rain fall—these, too, are profound life adventures.
What is wrong with ‘nothingness’?
I am tired of measuring life based solely on the "good" things that happen. I count my blessings, and I am grateful every single day. But I want to see life not through rose-colored glasses, but through the lens of the absolute fragility of every second we breathe.
Perhaps, if we can learn to appreciate the boring, the stillness, and the absolute nothingness, we can genuinely learn to be kind to each other. Most of all, we can learn to be kind to our own failures and our perceived "lack-ness."
A life lived not for achieving or accumulating things and experiences... maybe that kind of life will start showing us what is actually real.
I am super curious to know what that is.
What about you? What are you desperately curious to know about life?
Random musings, Ness
P.S. It is so incredibly important for us to have a safe container for our feelings and thoughts—and to not feel "weird" for having them (the way I often did growing up).
If this resonated, feel free to leave a comment below or reach out to me directly. We also hold a weekly container to ground, breathe, and attempt to find our center together. Weird thoughts, heavy feelings, and unexplainable visions are always welcome here. The portal is open.
