Emotions are like waves
I don’t know any other way except to be here and be honest with what I am going through.
I have been wanting to share where I am on my journey right now. But honestly, finding the words—and the quiet space to write them—has been extremely difficult.
To carve out the time to be quiet with my thoughts. To find the peace to allow my emotions to be as they are. To find the space for my body to simply breathe.
It has been quite a rollercoaster ride for me, and Yan, and our family. My mother-in-law recently lost her battle to colorectal cancer, and we are all devastated and heartbroken.
This is the first time that I am able to put this experience into words. At the same time, I am still wrapping my head around what transpired in the last few months.
“Healing is a Messy Process.”
I have often shared with you that Healing is a Messy Process. Right now, I am going through a whole new level of messy.
Riding the Waves
I find myself doing three things: First, feeling what I am feeling. And then, observing myself feeling all the erratic emotions. And then, watching my reaction to the emotions that are coming up.
Here’s what I am learning:
Emotions are like waves, and you’re in a tiny boat in the middle of a vast ocean.
The waves come and go. They come in different sizes, and you don’t know when they’re coming, how big they’ll be, or when they will finally settle down.
You want to fight them, but they’re bigger than you. Soon, you realize there is no fighting them. There is only softening into them. Letting them pass through you. Praying and hoping you’ll get yourself back in one piece.
You fall over from your tiny little boat and you slowly sink into the ocean. You realize that the moment you let go, your body lightens. The moment you stop resisting the waves, your body floats to the surface.
“The most profound lessons are the hardest ones to learn.”
The most profound lessons are the hardest ones to learn. The lesson feels hard because we insist on how things should be. We want to stay in control.
The irony is... in order to truly find that sense of inner control, we must first retreat. We must surrender.
To surrender control is immensely difficult. When it comes to emotions, surrendering means feeling all of it. Feeling the pain feels like losing control over ourselves. It feels like you’ve lost, and you’ve failed at “managing” your emotions or yourself.
Hesitatingly, we are forced to face this part of us that feels so much. We regard it as "ugly," and so we want it to stay hidden.
But there is no liberation in hiding. There is no truth in pretending. And there is absolutely no human being on Earth that doesn’t have a shadow or a part of them that is not "pretty."
I am here to let you know that it’s okay for you to unmask and see yourself fully.
“There is no liberation in hiding.”
Accepting Yourself
I personally have found it extremely liberating to stop pretending. My personal journey, my work, my healing, requires me to show up in my truth.
There’s a powerful release that comes with being fully honest with oneself. I have learned to welcome the part of me that’s still figuring it out. I am still working on returning to my wholeness and oneness, and that process asks me to fully welcome all parts of me.
Integration. Embodiment. It's a messy process.
Know that you are not alone in this wild ride that we said "Yes" to. There will be days when it won't be sunny and bright. And that is okay. You are not failing. You are living. The best way you know how.
I’m here with you.
So now begs the question...
How do we embrace the mess?
Slowly. Gently.
Mindfulness practices can help us anchor back and find our center. Our individual healing is important—small, regular, heart-centered habits that we can come home to.
And then there is the practice of collective healing.
From the depths of the ocean, we rise.
In April, I am creating a sanctuary for us to heal together, lovingly embraced and nurtured by Mother Nature.
This is an invitation for you to radically call forth your freedom to nurture yourself.
Healing Me Retreat: A Return to You
Join me in San Vicente, Palawan (April 1-5, 2026) for 5 days of deep healing, detox, and mind-body-soul reset.
I know it’s not easy. Life always presents us with challenges. From our family responsibilities to our work commitments, it almost always feels impossible to step away.
So I invite you to find your breath, find your center, call on your Higher Self, and ask yourself how much you need to:
Unplug completely
Nourish your body
Explore your inner world with loving support
And commit to the messy, beautiful work of healing yourself
If the word surrender feels both terrifying and completely necessary right now, this retreat is here for you.
Will you give yourself permission to step away and truly feel?
Spaces are extremely limited to ensure an intimate, supportive experience. Only a Php 5,000 deposit is required to secure your spot, and flexible payment plans are available.
I am both excited and hopeful for your journey. Remember you are not alone in this. I hope you don’t hesitate to reach out when you feel you need to.
Healing with you,
Ness
P.S. If you feel safer in a 1 on 1 container, that's okay. Your first one-on-one coaching with me is at a discounted rate. Others have also given this coaching session as a gift to loved ones. Feel what works for you.
